This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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