I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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