We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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