bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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