by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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