We got so high we made milksteak
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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