You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
