just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
