I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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