let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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