It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
