Nicole vs. Life
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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