That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
