I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
even my farts smell like vagina
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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