Sponge bath it is.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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