I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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