dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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