living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
