actually, I'm a sock model
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
