would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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