if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
