I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
