What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
