Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
