Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
