you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
