If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
