Fuck appropriateness.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
