I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
