By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
