What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
