I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
