Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
