He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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