So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
