Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
