I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
