New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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