He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Farmville is her only friend.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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