I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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