I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
