Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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