physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
