do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
