Already got asked if we're dating
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
