I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
