it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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