Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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