so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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