Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
