Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
