I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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