the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
