I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
